Called?

“If you don’t have a definite call to stay here, you are called to go.”

I read this quote this morning. You see I should be preparing for semester 2 of nursing school that starts tomorrow, but I find myself on the website I have been visiting the past couple of days faithfully. The website is called “Adventist Frontier Missions”. It is an organization that sends missionaries to the unreached people of the world.

Let me take this story back to when I was about 15 or 16 years old. That Sabbath, instead of going to my home church, we went to my grandparents’ church in Tehachapi to visit them. I remember everything about that Sabbath. I remember that the speaker was a representative of AFM (Adventist Frontier Missions). He was there because one of the girls that attended that church was going on a year-long mission to Albania (she is actually a good friend of mine now). I remember being so inspired and felt that God was gently telling me that this is what He has planned for me. Even though I was inspired, I pushed the idea to the back of my mind. I continued with school, fell in love, had some drama and totally forgot about my desire for mission work. Once I got into college, I found God again, was baptized, and slowly my desire came back for mission work. God totally lead me and I have now been on two mission trips, one to Honduras, and one to Guatemala. These trips have taught me so much about who we are called to be, and who Jesus really is. I have fallen in love with a loving God and it is my desire to follow Him wherever that may lead me.

That brings me to just this past week. It was on Monday, and I was going to start preparing for school. But somehow, I felt that I needed to visit this organizations website. I was overwhelmed with a feeling of strong conviction and total peace. I searched through the website, looking for current mission calls, finding a few that would be awesome to take once I am done with school. Feelings of slight fear for the unknown started creeping in…the fact that I could be in a brand new place, with brand new people, far from home would scare anyone. Then I was lead to a video…and after watching it, knew that this has to be my calling. Why? I have NO clue why God would want to use me. I have no clue why He sees me capable of doing this. But I do know that He wants to use me. And I do know that if I don’t answer the call, I may not be following his plan for my life…and I would be lacking faith.

I have been praying about this day and night for the past year, that God would use me in WHATEVER way possible. Whether it is here, or there, or anywhere. And I read this quote today, and it made me really think…

“If you don’t have a definite call to stay here, you are called to go.”

Please pray with me as I seek out God’s plan in my life, but most importantly, seek God yourself and ask Him what He has planned for you. Life is so exciting with God and we are all called to step out in faith!

Love you all!

Here is the link to the video, if you would like to watch it too :)

http://www.afmonline.org/resources/videos/you-can-serve/

Love, Serve.

It was only a few days before my mission trip to Guatemala.. I opened the Word for my morning devotion and I landed on Mark 10:45...
"For even the Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve, and to give his life a ransom for many."
I thought about this for a little bit, and went on with my day.
Every morning after that, I came across some verse or some reading material that's focus was on being a servant, a SELFLESS servant.
I thought, well this is perfect before a mission trip! God must be teaching me something. It wasn't until I got there that I realized how strongly He wanted me to understand this.

I have been working on this post for a while, but what I have come to realize is that I can't really explain or put into words all that I learned from this experience, but I will attempt to. I hope that by this blog you are blessed, and that you understand another aspect of life.

I don't know if you have ever felt so much love that you can't really contain it inside. I never had, until I experienced the family of Christ in Guatemala. It began at church on the first Saturday that I was there. I woke up that morning feeling so much peace, and when I got to the first church we went to, we were greeted with a hug and a kiss from EVERYONE in the church. When we got to the second church, the love that was contained in the building couldn't help but enter my heart. 25 people were baptized and the people rejoiced and sang. I thought that this is how its supposed to be, if we really allowed ourselves to understand how powerful it is when someone is made new in Christ, we would have no option but to sing and praise God at the top of our lungs. I thought about how Jesus's heart must feel when one of His children choose LIFE.

This love that I felt and experienced, can happen anywhere. I pray everyday that I can be a channel of the love of God, and even if someone doesn't remember the words that I say, or the actions I take, but they remember the love I shared, then my life has purpose.

This love compelled me to serve. Not to serve because it's what we went there to do, but to serve because that's what happens when you love. To love is to serve, to serve is to love. Everywhere I went, I wanted people to know that not only I love them, but Christ loves them.

This love changed my view of life. I realized there that my life is for NO other purpose but to serve Christ and to serve others. Many times I have heard Matthew 22:37-40, where Christ states that we must love the Lord with all of our heart, soul, and mind and that we must love others, but I never really understood these words in action. The Word of God is understood when we put it's principles into ACTION.

Once I realized that I was MADE to love, I couldn't help but love. I was blessed to be able to get to know a handful of kids. They worked with us, they ate with us, and they taught me a lot about love. I am sure that if you keep reading my blog, you will hear about them. Saying goodbye to them on our last day at the campus, was one of the hardest, emotionally draining experiences I have ever experienced. I didn't understand how I could fall in love so quickly with all of these kids, but I knew that God wanted this for me. I think about them everyday, and I wonder if they are okay, and if they have eaten, and if they know that someone loves them, and most importantly if they know that God loves them. I wonder if I will ever see them again, if God will call me back to Guatemala, or if I will just have to patiently wait, and meet them at the gates of heaven. And then I thought...

We have a God who feels this way about each of us. He wants us to understand His love. I have been SO blessed in my life. How could I even be okay with not living my life to help others who don't have these blessings? How come its SO easy to forget that the fact that we have food to eat is a HUGE blessing? Why do I have so much, when many have so little?

I don't know why God puts us in the life that He does. I don't know why I was put in a family where love is never on a shortage. I don't know why I have never had to worry about what I was going to eat, or if I would have food at all that day. I don't know. But I do know that I was put here for a reason. And I KNOW that reason was NOT to just sit back and enjoy it. I learned that if I am not a blessing to others, I am a curse. I don't want to live my life just taking up space. I want to be love in action.

Guatemala has a small piece of my heart. I loved there like I never have in my life. It was here that I realized that God is calling me to serve with my life. Not to give 1/4th of my self, not one-half, but the WHOLE thing. I don't know where God will send me next. I know that I miss my family in Guatemala, and all my little brothers. But I don't know where God is calling me in my life. I am okay with this. In HIS time I will know. For now, I have to serve here. I have to love here. And I have to pray, hard.

P.S. There is so much more I want to share, and that I will share. I will be posting pictures of my trip soon! God bless you all :)

the story...

Ecclesiastes 11:5 says: " As you do not know what is the way of the wind, Or how the bones grow in the womb of her who is with child, so you do not know the works of God who makes everything".

I have realized more and more in the past year, that I am not able to understand the way God works, especially in my own life...but what I do know is that HE has a plan for me...for all of us.

Last year, I was blessed to be able to lead a team of 19 to Honduras for a mission trip. I learned a lot about myself and more about life and what is important. I got very close with the team that went. And I realized I had a passion to continue doing mission work, just not sure where, how long, etc. I thought that maybe my calling was to plan short-term mission trips so that others could experience what it is like...then I got into nursing school (totally a blessing from God!) and my energy had to be put into that..

Well, as many of you know, while we were on the trip in Honduras, my dad got hurt. Long story short, part of the palm of his hand was sliced off by the sharp metal that was used to build the school buildings we built in Honduras. SO many miracles happened that I can't even explain them all (maybe I will post it one day). Why I am mentioning this, is because it led me to my next mission trip.

The doctor that went with us to work with the medical team in Honduras, happened to show up on the construction site just minutes after my father hurt himself. He was then able to assist in his surgery to reattach the part of his hand. I was SO thankful to God for sending this doctor with us. That's when I found out he had his own clinic in Guatemala.

It's crazy how God works. And I don't understand it, but I guess we aren't really supposed to.

The leader from our trip to Honduras, Judy, and I decided that it would be awesome to go and help this doctor at his own clinic. This is how our mission trip "Guatemala 2013" came about.
So despite the fact that I just got into nursing school, which can be quite stressful for some,  I knew that God was calling us to serve at this clinic. So I started planning. I announced the trip at church, KNOWING that at least 20-30 people would want to go. But God's plan was different. We ended up only taking 12 people, 12 disciples.

I can't even begin to explain what I experienced in Guatemala. I guess if I could sum it up, it would just be "LOVE". Love of the people, love for the people, love for the culture, God's love, just...love. Now we only went for 14 days, some of you may be thinking that there is no way I could have fallen in love in 14 days, but like I said, God works in mysterious ways.

I have this prayer that I pray everyday, and that is that God give me the heart of His Son. That whatever His Son's heart would feel, I want to feel. And this is a prayer He never fails to answer. I believe that this is the reason I want to serve God with every fiber of my being, for my whole life. I can't really imagine living life without serving God, and then I look at my life here and I realize that I do just that.

Mission work is in my future. If we are truly believers in Christ, it should be in ALL of our futures. Where your mission field is, well that is a different story.

I am praying about where God will send me. People EVERYWHERE need help. He gives us all different gifts, and I am just praying about where mine are most needed. If you are a prayer warrior, please pray with me.

Like I said earlier, God has a plan for all of us. He has called us all to follow Him. The question is, will we follow Him? Will I follow Him?

My next post will be about my actual trip to Guatemala! It will have plenty of pictures, so stay tuned ;)

new chapter.

Nursing school. Wow. For those of you that are reading this that are in my class, I have no more to say. You get it. But for those that don't, let me explain.

I have wanted to be a nurse since I was about 10 years old. I think I was born with it. No one in my family, except for my Aunt Terrie, is in the medical field. My aunt has been an inspiration to me, but other than that, I have just known that it is what I want to do with my life.

This is why I worked hard to get good grades in my prerequisite classes, and this is why I prayed really hard when I was ready to apply. God blessed, and I actually got sponsored by San Joaquin Community Hospital and they bought my seat into the program! (As well as the $1,500 I spent for books!)

And that brings me to today. I am going into my third week of nursing school this week. The past two weeks have been an emotional roller coaster. I have realized that my life has changed forever. I have realized that they weren't kidding when they said you will need to study for 40 hours a week. I have realized that highschool did not prepare me for much of anything. I have realized that I can't do it all. And most importantly, I have realized that a nurse is EXACTLY what I want to be.

These next two years will be crazy. I know that. I will have breakdowns, and I will go crazy. (Just a warning). But everyday I am one day closer to living my dream. I am one day closer to caring for patients. I am one day closer to possibly changing a patient's life. I am one day closer to having a patient touch my life. I am one day closer to healing, just like Jesus did. I am one day closer to traveling the world and helping those in need. And I am one day closer to living a life that is full of meaning.

Life has changed SO much in these past two weeks. I have had to make some major decisions. But in Proverbs 3:6 it says, "In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths". God has directed me this past year, and He will continue to do so, He PROMISES that. Prayers are needed, and much appreciated. Remember, we can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens us.

I hope to keep you all updated on my nursing school experience, BUT since I don't really have a life anymore, we will have to see how that goes. :) God bless!

FEAR NOT.

 I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.--Nelson Mandela

FAITH activates God, FEAR activates the enemy.--Joel Osteen

Fear....this single thing rules most of our lives. Fear of change, fear of mistakes, fear of death, fear of failure, fear of being different, fear of being alone...if you really get down to it, fear is what determines what we do in life. So were we created to be fearful?...Is this something we just have to deal with?

Lately, I have had this whole fear thing in my mind. After talking to someone really close to me, I realized how much she was afraid, mostly about change. This made me look into my life. I never really realized how much I am afraid of! We can have fear that is obvious (things that cause shaking hands, racing hearts, etc) but perhaps more dangerous is the small fears we have that end up ruling our lives. For me, it would have to be fear of failure and fear of being hurt by someone I love. When I realized what I was afraid of, I realized the adjustments in my life I have made to give in to this fear. Crazy right? Never before did I know I was afraid of these things...

This past friday night I held a bible study about nothing other than...FEAR! (kinda crazy because last friday was before all of this self-realization). We talked about fear of sharing God with others. I asked everyone what makes us afraid of sharing God, especially when he has done amazing things in our lives. Here is the list: fear of rejection, fear that we have the proper knowledge, fear that it wont be accepted, fear of being the weird "jesus freak", fear that we are unworthy, fear of being a hypocrite...all pretty reasonable reasons right? I then looked up what the Word of God has to say about fear, and you probaby guessed it. Fear is not Gods plan for us. He wants us to FEAR GOD (which means to have reverance for God, to recognize His power, and submit ourselves to Him). He wants us to have a deep, faithful, fearful relationship with Him, but not to fear anything of this world!

Dueteronomy 31:6 says..."Be strong and of good COURAGE, DO NOT FEAR nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will NOT LEAVE YOU nor forsake you."

 

God wants us to BE BOLD for him. He will take away our fears when we surrender ALL to Him. Think about life with no fear.. amazing right? How different would so many stories in the bible be if the characters would have had fear? Joseph, David, Moses....So this is my prayer. That God takes away my fears so that I can be courageous for HIM. So that I can be His hands and feet. So that I can reach people that, with fear, I could not reach before. It is also my prayer that He takes away your fears. Its time to do some amazing things, fearless things. Its time to let go and let God.

More verses on fear...Psalm 23:4, Psalm 27:1, Psalm 118:6, 2 Tim 1:7, Psalm 115:11, 1 Chronicles 28:20, Isaiah 41:10, Matt 10:28, 1 Peter 3:13-14, 1 John 4:18.  

thankful...

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I can't believe it's already the holidays! I LOVE this time of year:) I am super stoked for dinner tonight too! That's like...the best part. Other than being with awesome family and other loved ones of course...

As I look back on this past year of my life, I am nothing but thankful. My life has changed tremendously since February of this past year. I have found God in a real way, and that has literally changed everything else about my life...I am thankful for all of the wonderful people in my life now. I have always had amazing people in my life, but I have never been as close to friends as I am now... There are so many other things to be thankful for, so I am going to list them :)

1. God's grace! Without this, I would have never changed.
2. God's amazing plan for my life...He has really blessed me this past year. (and yes, He has a pretty epic plan for you as well!)
3. My awesome family, they have always been there and always will be.
4. My new found passion for mission work and evangelism.
5. Getting into nursing school! This is just the beginning of a whole new chapter!
6. Being able to plan a mission trip, that DEFINITELY wont be the last!
7. Becoming the Youth Ministry leader at my church. Though  I feel unworthy, God uses the ordinary to do extraordinary things!
8. All the new friends I have made that I know will be eternal friends! You guys know who you are:)
9. My best friend Marissa, she is the best!
10. My church family <3
11. My fellow baristas...I literally have the BEST coworkers and an awesome job!
12. My new friend, Kulwa Nasolo.
13. Jesus Christ and all that he did for me and you.

I could keep going on but I focused on the major ones. Its amazing when you list out all the things you are thankful for, you realize how much you are blessed with. That brings me to think of those who don't have as much. I pray today for all those who are hungry, tired, poor, weak, and hurting. But my heart especially goes out to those who haven't been able to hear the amazing gospel of Jesus Christ, about how much God loves each of us despite what you have done. Its the number one thing I am thankful for because when I came to realize this, everything else in my life fell into place.

During these holidays, please remember those who are less fortunate than you. I know we hear this ALL the time. But honestly, truly imagine how it might feel to be them. Allow your heart to be broken for them. Then you will be able to recognize just how much you are blessed with. <3

What are you thankful for?

Kulwa Nasolo

"Let us touch the dying, the poor, the lonely, and the unwanted according to the graces we have recieved and let us not be ashamed or slow to do the humble work."--Mother Teresa

I feel that lately God has been impressing on my heart about loving others. He says in John 15:12: "This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you." His love should compel us to love one another in the same ways He did.

As I was listening to the radio this morning, I heard about an organization called World Vision where you can sponsor a child. I went to the website and fell in love with ALL of the kids and the whole mission of the organization. (There are other organizations that are awesome too, such as ADRA). And then I came across Kulwa Nasolo.

Kulwa is from Muhe in Tanzania, Africa. She has 2 brothers, and 5 sisters and they all live with their parents. She lives in a community that is severely impacted by the HIV and AIDS crisis. She is 6 years old, loves to sing (like me!) and her favorite subject is drawing class. While I wanted to help all the other kids too, (like serioulsy it was really hard not too haha) I felt like Kulwa is where I should start.

I will be sure to update everyone on EVERYTHING about Kulwa. I will be getting progress reports, pictures, and letters from her on a regular basis. I am so excited to be a part of her life and her be a part of mine.

 

This is where she lives: Muhe, Tanzania